Forgiveness - 10 February

Wow! It’s the last day of this study. Six weeks of the new year gone already.

We’ve covered a lot of ground in this study, and I’ve already used a lot of it. I’m learning that I need to decide to get well. I can only forgive if I choose to let go. It’s a high hurdle at times, but with God’s help, I can do it – and I know you can as well!

Are you working toward forgiveness, acceptance, and healing? Or do you still choose to suffer as a martyr – “It’s because of what I’ve suffered that I’m like I am toward you?” Now that you understand more about the godly choices necessary for forgiveness, are you working toward them? Or do you choose to remain mad at God, unwilling to relinquish control of your life?

Are you willing to change? Or, like me, are you afraid of those changes – afraid of what “they” will think if I humble myself? Afraid of what I will have to do, say and think if I choose to forgive?

Or is this all too much for you? Is there so much in your life that needs to be forgiven – and to forgive – that it seems overwhelming and insurmountable? Can you take it one little step at a time? If you can, God stands ready to help. Just start – one issue at a time. God is there for you. I’m ready to stand with you in prayer. Your pastor will pray for you. If you need an accountability partner, I’m here.

I’d like to close with some of Jesus’ last words on the cross:

And when they came unto the place which is called The skull, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand and the other on the left. 34 And Jesus said, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And parting his garments among them, they cast lots. 35 And the people stood beholding. And the rulers also scoffed at him, saying, He saved others; let him save himself, if this is the Christ of God, his chosen. Luke 23:33-35 (ASV)

They mocked Jesus. They killed Him. They cast lots for his clothes. And yet, He gives us an example.

Father, forgive them.

If Jesus could do it, so can you.

I’m here to pray for you. Send me an email. Call the church. But most of all, talk to God. He’s been here. He knows what you’re feeling. He, more than any person on this earth, wants to help.

I’ll see you Monday with the next study – walking the walk we talk. And don’t forget to continue with your Bible readings in the Read Through The Bible Challenge (readthroughthebiblechallegne.blogspot.com).

Forgiveness - 08 February

Search me, O God, and know my heart: Try me, and know my thoughts; 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting. Psalms 139:23-24 (ASV)

As I read these words, I realized how scary this could be. I know that God knows my heart, but to invite Him to search and look for evil… yikes. But this is exactly what we need to do to remove the seeds of bitterness from our hearts, our minds, and our behavior. If I want to have a forgiving spirit, I need God to expose the roots of bitterness that I may not be aware of. When God shows me an area to work on, I need to respond – even if I think I’ve already dealt with the issue. God knows the true condition of my heart and He will bring to light those things which need my attention. Are you willing to ask God to search your heart? Am I?

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.  Phil 3:13-14 (ESV)

According to Paul, what are we supposed to do about the past? When we forget the past, we simply choose to be unaffected and uninfluenced by it.

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. 19  Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. 25 “I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. Isaiah 43:18-19, 25 (ESV)

The passage from Isaiah gives great promise. Can you take hold of God’s promise and understand that God will make a way for you to forgive – and be healed yourself?

Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. 6 For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, 7 so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. 9 For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. 10 Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, 11 so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs. 2 Cor 2:5-11 (ESV)

Last week we looked at this passage from Paul’s perspective. We discussed the need to show compassion toward people who cause us pain. But how does that same pain/compassion paradigm affect the church? Many scholars think that this passage is connected to 1 Corinthians 5:1   (It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife.  1 Cor 5:1 (ESV) Apparently, the church had confronted the man and he had repented, but now the church refused to welcome the man back.

What did Paul tell the church to do regarding the offender? Did Paul demand a personal or public apology from the offender?  How does unforgiveness in the church affect the church’s mission? Its ability to worship and minister? Why did Paul want the church to forgive?

Are you easily offended? Have you ever played the martyr and continued to act unforgivingly? How can those actions play into Satan’s “designs”?

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Cor 13:4-7 (ESV)

If I could follow these guidelines for love, what would the impact be on my circle of friends? If the church acted like this, what would the impact be on the world?

Lots to think about. Lots of “rules” to follow. These rules are set by our loving and living God, and are designed to lead us to happy and healthy lives. Will you choose to deliberately try to follow God’s rules a little more every day?

See you Friday for the last day of this study.

Forgiveness - 06 February

Final week of the study – time to learn how to overcome the past!

The first thing we need to decide is whether we really want to get well and make things better.

After this there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 2 Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Aramaic called Bethesda, which has five roofed colonnades. 3 In these lay a multitude of invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed. 4  5 One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” 7 The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.” 8 Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.” 9  And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked. John 5:1-9 (ESV)

Why do you think that Jesus asked the man whether he wanted to be healed?

Sometimes I really don’t want to be “healed” when I think about forgiving someone. It’s human nature to want to remember an injury, to mull it over and justify our part in the problem, to make ourselves feel “bigger” or “better”. Human nature isn’t God’s nature. When Jesus asks us if we want to be healed of our past pain by forgiving the ones who have hurt us, we should answer with a resounding “yes”.

Once we’ve made the decision to get well, we must choose to do what we need to – on God’s terms. We need to honestly choose to forgive!

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Eph 4:31-32 (ESV)

The commands are simple. Stop all bitterness, anger, fighting, gossiping and malice. Be kind and compassionate – forgive – as I have been forgiven through Jesus Christ.

Once I have stopped being bitter and malicious toward you, I begin to operate compassionately. Once my compassion kicks in, I am in a position to forgive you. So the choice I must make if I want to be truly healed and free of an unforgiving spirit is to stop being bitter!

See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled. Heb 12:15 (ESV)

When I started this study, I didn’t think that bitterness was such a big part of the problem, but now I can see it. How about you?

Who do you need to choose to become “unbitter” towards? Who am I speaking ill of? Who do we need to stop fighting with and start praying for?

I can see a few areas that need attention. I hope you can, too.

See you Wednesday! Hope you are enjoying this study as well as the Read Through The Bible Challenge (readthroughthebible.blogspot.com).

Forgiveness - 03 February

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19 (ESV)

Wow. This verse stopped me cold. What a simple yet profound statement. I don’t love because I’m good. I don’t love because I’m superior. I don’t even love because I’m – me! I love because HE LOVED. He forgave me everything, and He forgave even before I sinned. He loved me unconditionally before I was born. He voluntarily went to the cross to die for me to forgive me for sins I had not yet committed. And He gave me a free gift of salvation – eternal life through Him – if I would just accept it. He gave me a way out of eternal damnation. He is preparing a place for me in heaven.

And I can’t forgive YOU for saying something that offends me? Aaaaaggggghhhhhh. Seven words in a sentence convinces me that I need to forgive unconditionally and always.

But, like Simon, I’m sometimes consumed with outward appearances. I have a good life. I have relationships – good and bad – that people observe. If I humble myself and forgive him, I might seem weak. I am afraid of losing face – and so I hold on to bitterness and anger and rage because I don’t want people to think badly of me. I think that in many cases, we do choose to hold out the branch of bitterness for these terrible reasons. I really need to work through this – and I’m amazed that God’s living Word can show me so much in one little sentence (one that I’ve read many times).

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Eph 4:31-5:2 (ESV)

How does holding on to my hurts look? I’m a bitter, angry gossip.

 And how will forgiveness look? I’ll be kind, tenderhearted, loving, and an imitator of God.

Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to all of you. 6 For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, 7 so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 8 So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. 9 For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. 10 Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, 11 so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs. 2 Cor 2:5-11 (ESV)

Paul had been hurt by someone in the Corinthian church. He chose to show compassion to his paingiver – and left us with admonishment about forgiveness and comfort. Check out verse 7 and 8. Why did Paul want the church to forgive their wayward member? And what were they to do once they had forgiven? Can you do that to the one who has hurt you?

We can choose to forgive – or not. Paul gives us the effects of both. What will happen to us if we refuse to forgive (verse 11)?

Is love a feeling or an action? Or is it both? How did Jesus manifest His love for us? By dying on the cross for forgiveness. We are to be imitators of Christ, so we should show His unconditional love.

If I tell you that I’ve forgiven you – but I also say that I want nothing to do with you – have I truly forgiven you?

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. 1 John 4:20-21 (ESV)

Forgiveness and love go hand in hand. If we love God, we are to forgive and love others. If we harbor “I want nothing to do with you” toward a friend, co-worker, or relative, we have not yet truly forgiven them. I need to seek God to see where I have been only partially forgiving, and I need to ask Him to help me be a truly forgiving person.

How about you? Are you in need of total forgiveness from someone, or do you need to show total forgiveness to someone? I’m going to try to set things right with God and man, one step at a time. I will pray for you as you seek to do the same.

See you Monday.

Forgiveness - 01 February

We’ve seen the next passage several times in this study. We’ve learned that we need to forgive – that it doesn’t happen automatically – that we are responsible for making it happen. We’re going to look at the results of true forgiveness – how that looks in our lives. (I really like the KJV for this passage but also included the ESV because it’s a little easier to read).

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Col 3:12-15 (KJV)

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13  bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Col 3:12-15 (ESV)

If I choose to forgive, I choose to put on:

A compassionate heart (bowels of mercies)

Kindness

Humility

Meekness

Patience (longsuffering)

How will these characteristics help me through the forgiveness process?

Bearing with one another means putting up with each other and not holding a grudge. How would your life change if you were able to live grudge-free? How would that impact your workplace, home, community, and church?

God’s peace will rule in my heart when I’m living in His Word and will. A lack of peace shows disobedience. When I think of him, do I feel at peace? If not, I am probably holding a grudge. I don’t show compassion, humility, and patience.

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (v. 14)

How does “love” impact your interpersonal relationships?

Based on these verses, what would indicate that you have truly forgiven? Think of your friends, co-workers, family… name them one by one. Do you feel love, patience, forbearance, compassion, peace? If you don’t, you need to take some time to pray for them, to forgive them, and to choose to be more Christ-like toward them.

I can think of a few people I need to forgive. I’m sure you can as well.

Take some time to forgive in the next couple days. I’d like to hear how your choice of forgiveness has changed your life attitude (no names please – just situations).

It’s hard to think that I’m not perfect and that I need to make the steps to forgive, whether or not the person has asked for that forgiveness. I’m sure you feel the same. I will pray for you as you go through this painful process. I hope you will do the same for me.

See you Friday.