tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4947281241975706954.post7198131703610964146..comments2013-01-13T22:18:18.470-05:00Comments on Online Gracegroup: The Essentials of Effective Prayer 12 DecemberTryschhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01127125560914589839noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4947281241975706954.post-71764112896792779672011-12-12T12:05:30.951-05:002011-12-12T12:05:30.951-05:00Hi Karyn - You pose an interesting question: What ...Hi Karyn - You pose an interesting question: What is my responsibility when I am hurt but the person won’t discuss the issue?<br /><br />I think that the Bible speaks on this point.<br /><br />15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” Matt 18:15-20 (ESV)<br /><br />I am to talk to the person. If I can’t get resolution after one-on-one discussion (which includes that person not wanting to deal with the problem), then I need to take a couple people – and here I imagine that these would be people who have either witnessed the problem, or who are trustworthy and level headed; people who will fairly listen to all sides and helping come to a resolution.<br /><br />If there’s still a problem, then we are to go to the church body. If you cannot get resolution, it’s time to bring the church family into it. Let both side give their perspective and then through prayer, search of Scripture and counsel, solve the matter. The Bible has the answer for just about every problem man comes up with. So in the end, the Word will be the final arbiter.<br /><br />But if the person is still acting the same way after being shown the error of his ways via Scripture… we are to walk away. The King James translates verse 17 this way:<br /><br />And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. Matt 18:17 (KJV)<br /><br />This tells us what to do, but it still doesn’t resolve our heart issue. I think that if we follow this Biblical mandate, and if the person chooses to continue on the same path, our consciences can be clear as to our actions. Then, even though we don’t “win” and get resolution, we can offer our forgiveness obediently. God is then able to soften our hearts toward the person.<br /><br />I personally believe that we have many problems in life because we skip the first command. We go right from being angry to taking it to others. We don’t give the other person time to see our point. We assume that they will not listen, and we want to justify ourselves, so we bring in our friends – and not always people who are going to listen fairly. We bring in those who we think will agree with us. We need to examine all aspects of the “wrong” to see if our behavior had an impact. And always, we are not responsible for others’ actions; we are only responsible for our own.<br /><br />This one is difficult for me, too. That’s why the first study in the new year will be on forgiveness!<br /><br /><br />TryschAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4947281241975706954.post-86672314508486651152011-12-12T06:43:23.013-05:002011-12-12T06:43:23.013-05:00Thank you Trysch, for a timely post! So, if the o...Thank you Trysch, for a timely post! So, if the other person doesn't want to discuss what went on, just let it go and get on with things? If I dredge it up again it just harbors bad feelings - this will take soul searching and working through. Thank you! Karyn<br />(don't know that this posted)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com